When I Am Not Enough...

And a God Who Is Always Enough

Photo by Ganapathy Kumar on Unsplash

I sat on my daughter’s bed one night last week as we went through a routine that is quite familiar in our house. Like many of us, her anxious thoughts can get the best of her while she lies in bed. Without the distractions of the day, as she lies there in the quiet, she often comes to Graham or me with worries or fears that her mind has conjured up. 

On this night, like so many others, I went to her room and we talked through all the things that had her feeling afraid. I’ve often found it somewhat challenging to help ease these fears because some of them are things that, while unlikely, aren’t entirely outside the realm of possibility.

What if there’s a house fire? What if someone gets really sick? What if a loved one dies soon? 

Even when our kids were toddlers and had fears of realistic things, I’ve always felt very hesitant to calm their fears with false promises. Could I tell them there won’t be a house fire? I could, and most likely I would be correct; most likely, they would have taken my word for it and gone to sleep. However, the fact is that I can’t make these promises and back them 100%. I’m just as powerless to keep the bad things from happening to them as they are, which is not the most comforting thing you can tell your child when they’re afraid. 

“Yes, the house could burn down, but I really can’t control it. Go to sleep.”
I can just picture them with their future therapist now… 

In all seriousness, I have found only one way to truly help our kids with their anxious feelings. There is only one thing that has ever consistently worked, time and time again, without fail. 

As I sat with my daughter the other night, we went through the routine we have gone through so many times before. We talked about the ways we try to keep our home safe. Practical things like smoke detectors, house alarms, and door locks. Then we got to the thing that calms their anxious thoughts every single time.
We recited Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.

God’s Word tells us not to be anxious about anything, but instead to pray about everything. I love that… don’t do this, always do this.
And there is a promise in this verse. The promise is that when we take everything to God, He will give us a peace that is beyond our understanding, and it will guard our hearts and our minds. 

Photo by alise storsul on Unsplash

It’s a promise. 
As kids my siblings and I used to tell each other, “A promise is a promise!”, which was our way of saying, no changing your mind now!
With God, His promises are always just that. They never change, they are true again and again.

Every time our kids have taken this verse into practice, they have been able to fall asleep quickly afterward. 

My sister recently shared a quote on her social media that said,

“We are fallen, limited people, and we can never be enough for our children. Even if our lives revolve around them, and we cater to their every need, we are not enough. Our children were made for God, and only he can satisfy the deepest desires of their hearts. If we try to fill the role of “savior” in their lives, not only will we be crushed by the weight of impossible expectations, but we will hinder the need for our children to run to Christ themselves. When we feel insufficient, we can rest in the sufficiency of Christ.” - Kristyn Perez 

The first time I read that, it resonated deeply with me. As parents, we naturally want to be what our children need, and in many ways, God equips us to do so; however, their ultimate needs can only be met by Him. 

There are so many things I can’t fix for my kids, needs I can’t meet, fears I can’t still, and there will only be more as they get older. But the one thing I can do is point them to the One who is able.

If nothing else, I want them to know with confidence that Jesus can satisfy every need they might ever have.

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Do you have specific verses that your family often uses to calm anxious thoughts and feelings? Or do you have favorite verses that have been helpful to your family in other ways? I’d love for you to share!